ouch... Felt extreme pain in the heart.. I am denying something.. my self-denial is stopping it from surfacing...

Dissapointment....

cancel a outing/ mamaking session with my fren... there are so few of us left, so if one dun go it affects a lot... I dun know what am I expecting from this gather? a time of peace out..? cause I was feeling quite dissapointed in stuff... busy over the weekend? Looking foward to it because I knew it would be a refreshing time?

Aiks. it's cancel... I know I will do the same if I were him... balancing frens with church is not the easy thing, if I were there I would choose youth, because I felt I am needed there.. I want to know my cell members...

youth will come before my friends, definetely.. just wondering why dun get out of it more than being with my frens.. it explains a lot.. one requires giving out, the other both ways...

Comparing time with friends and youth sorta make me sad...

B'day was horrible...it's expected...

Steamboat was tiring... non mutual thingy..

The day when we treat me like someone of ur own. even in my house... I start to build frenship with ya...

You recieve more when you give? I wonder how true it is..?

Sometimes there are people that u want to see.. u dun get to see em. Sometimes u got so bored looking at some people, but they kept appearing..

Are my implus acting slower than they should... Everyone have someone.. izzit hard not to doubt whether there is something wrong with me? It's been discouragin looking thru friendster... looking at people's picture.. ouch. YEah, but izzit worthwhile going thru what everyone go thru, and end up getting hurt b'cos it was the wrong person....

Crushes... they happened here and there. Probably they take longer to settle in... Well, I suppose I have this crush, oh ya, I dun even realise I have it... yeah I do... and I must say I was being jealous at times. But wateva for? I dun see him that often anymore. I dun wanna spoil the friendship we have... I mean it's too precious to do so. Yet.. so many females around me. I am kinda growing sick....

Fish died today, it was different the days before this anywayz.. I miss watching it swim.. HAVE I change? It makes me wonder whether it was for the better or worse... Did these two year changed me? It seems so long from A lvls to now.. the mere fact, I just passed two years..

Weird, how do u define a crush??

WHen u get too busy... You will stop thinking about how much u need love?

YEah.. pretty true... I rather indulged myself in studies than to get hurt over some guy who dun even know I exist... LOlz. I wonder if all female have this flatuating feeling when it comes to love. I just females are proned to fall in love with a guy who shows extra care for them even though they may not at all like the personality of the guy.

Any guy that show TLC would be mostly what a female would fall in love with.. depends how desperate you are... how many admirers and how many who show their care...

In Asean culture, it's dangerous...yes, normally we dun hug and hold someone's hands openly. If a guy were to be brought up in a different family culture and behave the same way over a gal who he treats as a friend... he is bound to get himself into trouble. HOw true is that..? YES I am here to testify... sometimes I have to snap myself out of it. Just pinch myself... NO this is no the guy I wanna be with!!! SWT.. yet u dun alwayz get what u want.